Have you ever been in the Timmies drive thru on Chemong and found yourself staring directly at the display window of a sex shop? That store is Forbidden Pleasures, and this is the official Arthur review.

Sex shops have a strange stigma surrounding them. There’s a tentative pause before admitting you’ve stepped foot in one, and an even larger pressure if asked what you’ve purchased. 

This was actually my second ever time going into a sex shop (unless you count the back of a Spencer’s). In my youth in the heartland of Chatham–Kent, Ontario, I went into the local sex store immediately after turning 18 with a buddy of mine, to see the sights. 

We arrived around noon, to find a “Be back soon” sign, and just as we were to turn away, a woman came bustling by with a Burger King bag. She unlocked the door and heartily invited us into the store. 

Inside was a cornucopia of wonder replete with tools and objects whose purposes I could scarcely guess at. While my friend was checking their surprisingly fulsome selection of shirts (They purchased a Reservoir Dogs tee), I stood by the counter of the store, trying to make heads and/or tails of their wares.

This was when the clerk, burger in one hand, sallied up to me across the counter, and between bites of her Whopper said “Looking for a suggestion?”

What I remember saying was something along the lines of a sweaty “Uhhhh…” but she seemed to have taken that as a yes. Her burger still in her hand, she waved her hand at the multitude of options, then, her fingers dancing over the array of intimidating tools, settled on a box, spun, and held it out to me. 

“A big fella like you could get some mileage out of this,” she said, presenting me a sort of harness for stand fucking, so that the person I was carrying wouldn’t fall. 

I politely declined.

To this day, it remains one of my favorite personal anecdotes. 

According to the fine folks at Forbidden Pleasures, this is not the sort of normal interaction one would expect at a sex shop. 

In the entirety of the afternoon I spent at Forbidden Pleasures, I didn’t get a single unsolicited piece of advice. They were nonetheless extremely helpful when besought, engaging with the full ferocity of my questions (and if you know me, you know that’s a shit load).

I learned what “sounding” was, I learned that 6 inches is considered small for a dildo (unfortunately for me), and that power play was far more prevalent than I originally understood it to be. Indeed, I could fill a whole paper with the fun facts that I learned in my short two-hour visit. 

I didn’t know there are multiple types of lubes whose composition vary depending on where they are intended to be applied, and that lubes with certain ingredients could be harmful if applied internally as opposed to externally. For example, the poetically named Fuckwater, are water-based rather than silicone-based, making it both allergy and sensitivity-safe, but also more comfortable to people with aversions to certain textures (I, for example, found Fuckwater to feel less gross than traditional lube). 

Or did you know that flavored lubes should never be used internally, as they contain sugar, which can cause infections or worse? The world of lube is surprisingly nuanced, though by no means esoteric. 

My ignorance is somewhat emblematic of the state of sexual intelligence among people. Safer sex is not something widely and frankly talked about and porn, which is for many people their first introduction to sex and their sexuality, is not exactly a good teacher.

When I asked about some of the more common questions staff at the shop received, I was told that there really wasn’t one, and that it varied from person to person. Many ask questions about the lube, or about the dildos. They did say that one of the most common things they find themselves saying is “Don’t go off pornography” and to take things slowly and do research beforehand, not only to avoid potential accidents and uncomfortable situations, but to also to increase the enjoyment of all those involved. 

My time at Forbidden Pleasures was a truly wholesome experience. I got to try some lube on my hands, and I learned more about sex in my short time there than I did in my entire sex-ed course in high school. 

I think this welcoming atmosphere is a stark contrast to our wider society.

A sex shop is one of the few places that you can freely ask questions regarding sex and sexual activities and where sex isn’t hidden, but rather celebrated. One of the things that most impressed me at Forbidden Pleasures (aside from the infinite wit of the staff and sex toy industry) was the candor. There was no judgment, just simple acceptance—it’s a wholesome and welcoming environment.

Forbidden Pleasures offer everything from gaffs, binders, and other gender-affirming care items to masturbatory toys, sexual stimulants and aphrodisiacs. These offer ways for individuals and partners to explore themselves and each other. Sure, it may look like a Creature Cocks™ Mystique silicon unicorn dildo (that, by the way, have such in depth descriptions and lore that according to staff “They need their own Wattpad account”) but it’s actually an opportunity to fulfil a fantasy, to explore boundaries. People from all walks of life come in to learn.

The staff told me of older couples who come in after decades together and who struggle to please their partners after so long. They talk about how they have rekindled the physical and sexual parts of their relationship through experimenting with various toys and stimulants. Then there are people who have come in to try on lingerie and other clothing to test their gender expression. Sex shops offer a break from societal norms and expectations, and as such have become very open and free establishments, where all are welcome (and, as an aside for our Trent readers, there’s a 15%  student discount every Wednesday).

If you are curious, go into your local sex shop. Learn new things about sex and maybe even new things about yourself along the way. The staff are friendly and inviting, and wanted me to make sure to say “There are no weird questions.”