Dear Legless U Students, 

The snow has started, and you have all been in exam study mode for weeks now properly preparing for these three-hour windows of decisive judgement from your professors.

I am reaching out on behalf of Legless U to wish you all a Happy Holidays. As I sit with views of the Trent-Severn waterway, listening to the dulcet tones of Josh Groban’s vinyl of NOEL on my Fluance RT81, I can’t help but imagine many of you doing the same. Finally, you get a few days before completing your exams; a few days to enjoy the surrounding majesty of these winter mornings. Take the opportunity to sit with a warm cup of hot chocolate and catch a Christmas film with those you love. 

My wish for this holiday season is the close and intimate personal relationships you formed this last semester over broken network connections and discussion boards continue into the next. That we find these new ways to reach beyond the basics of hello and use those valuable two minutes of talk time during class Zoom sessions, to not only say hello but ask how the other person is doing so that we can hear their truncated “fine”. 

Take these well wishes home to your families, who are all anxious to see you. I know you will have anxiety preparing to travel home, hoping you don’t come down with a fever or cough in public before the trip. Then you will experience that tremendous feeling that it’s impossible to follow the proper quarantine guidelines without ruining your holidays. What a beautiful time of year! 

I wanted to make sure the student (upper) body knows our administration is sensitive to your current world. We even reached out to a few of you to see what your wishes were for the season.

Katie Podunk, a first-year forensics student, told me that her wish for the holidays was, “…that I don’t have to wear a mask on the bus ride home.” A great perspective. I get that same feeling when waiting for my A7 to be detailed. Thank you, Katie. 

Next, a fourth year English major who wished to remain anonymous said, “I don’t get to go home. I’m worried I am going to be pretty lonely. I guess my wish is that COVID didn’t exist so that I could at least get a hug for the holidays.” I certainly hope they have a cheery Zoom based holiday time and that the warmth from their Asus is enough to quell those feelings. 

I made sure to seek out a prolific voice from the Trent student community with Nick Taylor, the attractive and talented Co-Editor of Arthur who said, “You haven’t responded to any of my questions about the Legless Lands Plan sir.” Wise words indeed. 

Lastly, since most other students had ejected me from their property at this point, I reached out to someone who has always been a source of wisdom, a confident voice and a dear friend – my mother. Mom wisely put it “How come you never visit me anymore?”. I guess Zoom doesn’t count.

In conclusion, I hear you all, and have ordered the Mariah Carey Deluxe Anniversary Christmas album from Amazon. I am ready for a socially distanced holiday from all of you. When we meet again, I look forward to exchanging lies about how we did not have any family get together of over 10 people.

Yours in all the sincerity I can muster, Happy Holidays!‍

Legless Pete, PH-D, MD, ADHD, FF

President, CO-Chair Vice President and owns a Jeep‍

*We are aware not everyone celebrates the western idea of a Christendom holiday. For those of you offended by this happy holiday message, please replace ‘Happy Holidays’ with any preferred well wishes such as Hanukkah, Diwali, that Ukrainian one… or any of the others that matter. 

– Your Legless PR Team