Rumours of Alfred's death have been greatly exaggerated, as the current insert bears witness to. This horrible little paper, bred in the deepest pits of contempt for ingrained authority, bootlickers, and patsies of all description is the satirical (and deeply stupid) younger brother of Arthur. Be warned: This paper has no redeeming qualities.

Arthur is back in action for March and after a brual month full of all kinds of horrible slights and baseless attacks from the far reaches of campus we get to keep our funding for at least another year! This issue features everything from the profane to the profound and everything in between. In short, everything people have come to love (or despise) about Arthur is here within these pages. We talk about the most moving moments of the 47th annual Elders and Traditional People's Gathering to the academic ramifications for discovering you are indeed a cat. You'll also find the latest on what City Council has been up to and a review of some pertinent films.