Do you find that the average holiday movie is “Ok”? Do you feel that if you watch one more flavourless Hallmark couple or one more Christmas miracle, you’ll become homicidal? Do you want blood? Gore? FEAR? Then you have come to the right place. As someone who adores the snow and hates the non-pagan traditions, I’ve compiled a list of six of the greatest holiday horror films to watch over the break. Just for you. Yes, you, Derek. 

Also, you probably shouldn’t show many of these films to your whole family. 

1. Krampus (2015)

Starting off with a modern hit for us youthful sorts, Krampus (2015) is a must watch for anybody who wants horror, laughs, but most importantly, a morally ambiguous man who sneaks down your chimney. Directed and co-written by Micheal Dougherty, the guy behind Halloween classic Trick or Treat, With amazing performances by an all-star cast, ranging from Adam Scott (Parks and Recreation), David Koechner (Todd Packer) and Conchata Ferrell (Two and a Half Men), Krampus is a must watch Horror/comedy. The story of a family lacking in cheer, isolated from the world by a freak blizzard, fending off an ancient spirit, with a wonderful theme of family, and creative monsters to boot, I highly recommend this to any and all, and especially those who want a strong dose of Christmas. 

2. The Thing (1982)

Fuck you it’s my list. There’s snow and shit. The Thing ‘82 is one of the most beloved horror films of all time, directed by genre legend John Carpenter, the film is incredible. Like Among Us? Watch the film. Like amazing practical effects? Watch the film. Like snow? Like good acting? Like trepidation and paranoia? Like flamethrowers? Watch. The. Film. After watching some Norwegians incompetently hunt a dog, the story follows an Antarctic research facility succumb to an alien invader who emerges from the ice, taking the form of any creature it comes into contact with. It’s an amazing film. Absolutely wonderful. Do be wary though. The dogs do die

Also, the 2011 sequel is ok. 

3. Black Christmas (1974)

Humongous trigger warning. This is an incredibly well-done film that covers some VERY heavy topics, ranging from partner abuse, abortion, stalking, sexual assault, and violence against women. That’s on top of the general fare of murder, serial killers and police incompetence and ignorance. A Canadian classic that artfully discusses a range of contemporary issues, still curiously affecting society to this day. A revolutionary film not just for its content, but as a pioneering film that is considered to be one of the first slashers, and perhaps the first to present the “Final girl” trope, the film follows a sorority house at a Canadian university, that is receiving creepy phone calls as the members of the house are slowly picked off. The film is horribly creepy, suspenseful, and all the more frightening for the reality it shows. Not for everyone, this slow burn film is beautiful, horrible, and chilling. 

Don’t watch the sequels, they suck. 

4. The Shining (1980)

Perhaps the most famous horror film of all time, the Shining film portrays a family trapped at a hotel over the winter. Evil spirits corrupting an already unstable father. It’s a horror classic by Kubrick, denounced by Stephen king. Beautiful cinematography, amazing acting, and pervasive dread. You all know this film. Watch it again. It’s just as good.

5. The Lodge

An atmospheric film about a not-yet stepmother who suffers from trauma from a cult, and her two not-yet stepchildren at a secluded snowed in lodge. Don’t spoil the movie for yourself. It’s a perfect Christmas film: It’s about trauma, religion, family, and being stuck together. 

6. Ravenous (1999)

The enigmatic sixth film. Ravenous is so many things. An artistic view of war, imperialism, vegetarianism, colonialism, homosexuality. Taking place at an isolated fort on the western frontier in the 19^th century, protagonist John Boyd is sent there, like everyone else at the fort, as a dumping ground for the strange, incompetent, and annoying. A story of cannibalism and Wendigos, the movie is a glorious art film beautifully made in a historical setting, with incredible writing. An arthouse flick that has been largely forgotten, this film is not for everyone, but it’s absolutely incredible. 

Honorable mentions

Jack Frost (1997).

It’s terrible. Maybe in a fun way. The story of a criminal being transformed by “genetic material” which then transforms him into a sentient snowman. It’s crude, goofy, and may be what you’re looking for. A warning however—There is a very strange bathtub scene, which features a sexual assault joke. It’s an odd film.

The Gingerdead Man (2005)

From Google “A witch cooks up trouble when she revives her dead serial killer son as a giant psychopathic gingerbread man intent on killing the girl who had him executed.” Garey Busey is the gingerdead man. I don’t think I can explain it better. It has some of the best lines in film history. 

Silent Night Deadly Night (1984)

A sleazy slasher about a traumatized young man who goes on a murderous rampage dressed as Santa. It holds a wonderful goofy 80s charm. If you’re going to watch the film, I’d recommend getting a hold of the X-rated version, as this film was heavily censored after its release. I honestly wasn’t a huge fan, but if you’re looking for a dose of slasher Santa, you can’t go wrong with the classic.