Eating chicken and learning it's okay to be a bitch, sometimes.

As I freeze half to death in the little basement plastered with charcoal drawings of nude men and women I call home, I prepare an article that will answer the question on the lips of all the six year olds I deem fascists for even asking “mom, why does that lady look like that?” That’s right, dear reader, this article is the final answer, the ultimate and absolute truth about why fat transgender sluts exist, and why we “look like that”.

LET'S BREAK THE WORD COUNT AGAIN! It's that bloody time of the month once more—none other than Evangeline's latest monstrous film column creation. This month our pure heroine expounds about the hallowed genre of horror, and just how exactly it made her a homosexual. But if you want to find out, you're going to have to click on it!