In this third instalment of my acclaimed series on neurodivergent instructors at Trent, and in honor of my first article for Arthur’s 59th volume, I spoke with beloved neurodiverse faculty member Emily Bruusgaard (she/they), an Assistant Professor of English here at Trent. 

Dr. Bruusgaard has a Wickerson grant to study how to improve online learning for deaf and hard of hearing people, incorporating different visual and audio cues. On top of this, they boast an exceptional 4.8 out of 5 Stars on ratemyprofessors, an accolade at which she cringes at the very mention. 

Deep within Traill College, in her wonderfully appointed office, set with chairs deliciously comfortable for people of every size, we talked about identity, academia, and self discovery. 

Like many neurodiverse folks, Dr. Bruusgaard’s journey of self-discovery was a long time in the making. There were always signs, but not until she was in her 50s could she see what they were pointing to. 

Having grown up in the diplomatic service, at first they had assumed that their seemingly alien experience in life was because of the constant travelling in her youth. They had experienced a life of being different, without understanding why. 

They told me how shocking it was when she was 13, when all of a sudden social and hormonal changes led to them no longer being able to relate well with her fellow classmates, and feeling separate and excluded. In her own words, It felt like she “ wasn’t given the manual” to being a girl. 

It wasn’t until less than two years ago, when they were out for coffee with a friend who professed to thinking they had autism, and proceeded to list off symptoms, that Bruusgaard realized they might be as well. 

When they confessed as much, the friend replied: “Well yeah, I think you’re autistic too!”

Autism presents differently in everyone, and there is a difference in the symptoms between those assigned as male at birth, and those assigned as female. As Dr. Bruusgaard said, “The joke is, if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.” 

One of the biggest impediments to Dr. Bruusgaard acknowledging her own neurodiversity was how narratives around autism have historically centered on men, and more specifically, boys. 

The stereotypes of autistic boys which frame them as “robots” that “don’t feel the full range [of emotions],” are both inflated and often incorrect. These narratives hinder those who are unsure of their own neuro-status, and hurt those who are autistic. 

Eventually, after much deliberation and speaking with professionals, Dr. Bruusgard went and got a professional diagnosis. When asked about why she went down the diagnostic route, she wanted “self-diagnosis is totally valid,” and further to justify, “Neurotypical people don’t think they’re autistic.” This sentiment was mimicked by everyone else interviewed for this series. 

Realizing that you are neurodivergent can be a shocking experience, especially so realizing it 50 years into one’s life. Dr. Bruusgaard spoke of the bittersweet mix of emotions that came with the diagnosis. There was the difficulty of “grieving over younger me” and the euphoric relief of decades of shame evaporating, that there “never was anything wrong with me.” 

Even then, the diagnosis was only the first step in their new life. With decades of masking to unravel, it becomes a search for an honest, more authentic decade. The experience of unmasking after decades, as cathartic and complicated as it can be, can make “somethings become harder, not easier.” 

All this, on top of being a full-time professor. 

This too, as neurodivergent, can be far different from the neurotypical experience. It has many benefits from intuition with students, helping extract meaning from texts, and the near superhuman ability to channel special interests, but it also comes with some drawbacks. 

In a “structured neurotypical institution” that isn’t built to accommodate neurodiverse professors nor students, the mere infrastructure can be impactful. Old tube lights that subtly flicker or hum, the unreliable air conditioning in much of the campus’ older buildings, and a plethora of other sensory inputs that can bother neurodivergent people. 

In addition to the challenges that present itself in a physical academic setting, Dr. Bruusgaard spoke about challenges in her profession as well. For some, the balancing of so many jobs and following emails can be overwhelming. 

Between being an educator, a researcher, and an admin, “wearing that many hats, for us, can be difficult,” they shared.

Another obstacle for Dr. Bruusgaard that echoes the experience of other neurodivergent professors I’ve spoken to was the difficulty of getting into academia. As anyone could tell you, the traditional post-secondary education model has many flaws, and unfortunately neurodivergent people seem to excel at incurring them.. 

It took twenty-five years, four institutions, and many, many breaks for them to get their BA, MA, and doctorate, including a spectacularly failed first year right out of high school. A lack of accommodation and support was a major issue, on top of challenges focusing and being treated with respect. 

Just as being a neurodivergent professor will come with its challenges, being a neurodivergent student can be too. 

Dr. Bruusgaard spoke highly of her time getting a masters here at Trent. In comparison to other universities they’ve been to, they claimed that Trent was very un-hierarchical, and that their teachers treated her as colleagues, as opposed to the very hierarchical Queens, where she went on to get her masters. They observed that “Trent attracts more neurodiverse students than any other school I’ve been to.”

When asked if there was an overall message she wanted the readers to know, Dr. Brussgaard responded that they wanted people to “[be] curious about ourselves.” Academics are defined by their curiosity, and she thinks more people should turn it inwards, and examine themselves. 

“[approach] neurodiversity with curiosity, not shame,” she said.

Dr. Bruusgaard’s favourite courses they teach are ENGL-2609 Contagion and ENGL-2707 Popular fiction, and these courses are equally beloved by students if word of mouth is believed. 

She continues to be a shining example of neurodiversity in academia, and as a former student, I would highly suggest trying one of her classes.

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