The Bowlcut

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Bowlcut: Peterborough Police Chief Longs for Opportunity to Address Media Outside Local Tim Hortons
Since taking over as Chief of Peterborough Police Service, Betts has developed what some consider to be a distasteful habit of holding press conferences from the areas where violent crimes have occurred. According to internal documents from the Peterborough Police Service made available to Arthur in exchange for a sizeable envelope of student money, Police Chief Stuart Betts has made it clear to staff that he hopes the next violent crime in this city occurs in a Tim Hortons’ parking lot in order to save him the trip and time setting up press availability inconveniently far from his favourite donut shop.
Bowlcut: Top 10 Canadian Pride Parade Floats
Should you have had the pleasure or opportunity this summer of attending any pride parade marginally larger than that of our own beloved Peterborough, you’ll know that Toronto Pride, Fierté Montréal, and other such spectacles often attract the benevolence of any number of high-profile private and public sector sponsors.‍ However, no one has yet, to my knowledge, seen fit to ask: what is objectively the best corporate, government, or otherwise in-poor-taste pride float?
Bowlcut: TCSA Accountability Bingo
Arthur is back on its bullshit with this sexy little game of bingo! You may have heard of the TCSA’s sexy bingo, but we here at your favourite commie rag are proud to introduce the newest manifestation of inane student bingo-based activities: TCSA Accountability Bingo! 
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